The Problem with Indians and their Movies: What do Badmaash Company, KANK, and Kites have in common?

Badmaash Company, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna and Kites are three movies which I have enjoyed and found rather pleasant, that have unfortunately been collectively despised by the Indian audience (to varying degrees), according to my friend Sharma, who claims to be representative of the Indian consciousness, which I find infinitely strange since I spent one year in and out of classes in DU learning that there is no Indian nation there was no Indian nation there is sort of some Indian geographic entity but really, read your history and you can see there is no India butbutbut.... there is a collective Indian verdict on the yay or nay of Bollywood movies. (ok ok ok i know the counter-arguments to this too but im ignoring it)

So at least Sharma appreciated Badmaash Company, which actually had quite a fun and smart plot! Unfortunately, people in hostel condemned it and said it was boring; the only good thing about it was that Shahid Kapoor was looking cute. (and not even tHAT cute here, he looks nicer with shaggy hair a la Dil Bole Hadippa -- another one of those films crucified by Sharma's India) So Badmaash Company was really not bad, Anushka Sharma can actually act better than Deepika Padukone!!! Although her language was too 21st century to be virgin liberalizing 90s India, but that can probably be attributed to the scriptwriter who was listening to Lily Allen or Limp Bizkit while writing it ha ha ha.

Kites.... apparently traumatised Sharma on facebook. I commented that it was a wonderful film (so apparently my irony goes undetected) and Sharma promptly lauded me on my courage because now I was going to be judged by whole of facebook. Predictable plot, gratuitous glitz, gratuitous car crashes and environmental unfriendliness, but really yaar. I think it got crucified because it was too in-your-face rich and pretty and it was Hrithik Roshan and Barbara Mori and subconsciously everybody is on Sussanne Roshan's side or something, I have NO idea how the Indian mind works. It is a bad movie in many ways, but not SO traumatising. I think it is just fashionable to crucify big budget brainless productions, and even more fashionable to exaggerate your criticisms.

So ya man, think of Kites as your best friend who grew up in Monaco, who is beautiful blonde but brainless and everytime you have lunch with her your conversations aren't so profound but you still get some utility, enjoyment, entertainment (even at her expense, but she doesn't seem to mind). Like the ending in the water was funny, unrealistic car chases and small victories over chasing bad cops were funny, Hrithik Roshan shamelessly checking out Barbara Mori in front of their fiances/fiancees was really really so wtf it was funny... Kites is just spectacle + visuals, like you don't go to the Circus or Cirque du Soleil for great plot right.... you just go to get wow-ed, on a very superficial level (not intellectually wow-ed). Now people will say Kites didn't even wow me, on the most superficial level even. I think then, as Sharma hypothesizes and I develop her hypothesis further, that perhaps everybody has this quota of bad bolly movies to be filled, beyond which you just stop appreciating/enjoying trashy bolly movies; thus I have yet to fill this quota.

Now, on to KANK. It gets draggy at the end yes, it gets overly sentimental at parts yes, but if judged as a soap (maybe I just have a higher threshold for soaps... all those Korean Japanese Chinese shit I'd grown up watching...but I'm sure Indians have their fair share) I felt real tension (crossing road scene where SRK goes to meet RM but PZ bumps into them) and the plot was quite well developed, well executed, the songs were nice, etc etc. Ok beyond a point how do you debate taste right? The preference for Kal Ho Naa Ho over KANK I still don't understand. Kal Ho Naa Ho had bad SRK sentimental acting... when he tells the camera he has some disease and he will die... I hate the Pretty Woman song, I thought the initial failure of the restaurant and subsequent success as banal and predictable as HR and BM's car crash sequences in Kites, like you KNOW they will prevail ultimately duhhh... at least with KANK... you keep wONDERING if the adulterous couple will stay together.

Okay, I have taken enough time off work. Next post I will comment on more movies that I have disliked/found boring but... the Indians liked. hahaha. Sharma don't kill me. I still love you. LOVELOVELOVE!!!